there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
