i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
