check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it was like his penis was on wheels.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
