the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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