I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
false alarm. still invincible.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
