I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
