your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
