i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
