I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
