yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
