well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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