i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
