I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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