Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your cock deserves a montage
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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