He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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