Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
