I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
