I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
