Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
