did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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