She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
