very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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