My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
