well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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