The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
