Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
