I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
