Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
