you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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