yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
