I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
