My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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