whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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