you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
