if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
