So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
