Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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