dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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