So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She bit a glass in half.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
