Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
