So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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