please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
