well you can't waste a boner
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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