it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
