Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
