speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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