i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize