Are we in a gay sports bar?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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