He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
