and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Can I color on your dick again?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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