Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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