When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
