So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
