He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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