i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
