She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
