He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
