u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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