it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
